Lone, Alone, Lonely, Loneliness, Loner, Lonesome

I was listening to Desert Island Discs the other day – as I frequently do (when I can remember what time it’s on), and Kirsty said (as she often does), “How would you cope with being on your own.” Naturally, I transferred the question to myself. How would I cope?

Writing is – apart from the Japanese renga and the ubiquitous writing workshop – a solitary business. Most of my poems are not written in company, but on my own. And yet, as I’m sure my friends will testify, I’m a sociable person. I like people, I enjoy company, and when I was working I enjoyed being part of a team. Most people seem to prefer a balance between solitude and being in a group.

Walking is a great pleasure, and if I can combine walking with talking, that’s smashing. I love to travel to distant places, and when I do, I like to travel with DunbarJane, because we complement each other in noticing things and drawing them to the other’s attention. But I don’t have to have a companion in the hills. In fact, when I’m hill-walking I always go alone. I vont to be alone, as La Garbo is reputed to have said. I know nothing, absolutely nothing, more refreshing than letting my thoughts wander when I’m alone in the mountains. Company would be an intrusion, thank you very much. I don’t feel lonely, and the Desert Island Discs I play in my head aren’t restricted to eight records.

What about you?


About sunnydunny

Poet, publisher, gardener
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9 Responses to Lone, Alone, Lonely, Loneliness, Loner, Lonesome

  1. deemikay says:

    There’s a big difference between <>wanting<> to be alone and <>being happy<> to be alone.Similarly to you, my friends would describe me as talkative and sociable. But I also have a strong love of solitude – walking in wilderness is something that, I think, is best done individually. As is writing – but I can write in public places if surrounded by strangers.When I go travelling I generally go on my own. There have been a few occasions when I’ve gone with someone and that meant being with them 24/7 – not always a bad thing. But going on your own means you have more control on your solitude – you also, paradoxically, meet more people. (They see someone on their own and decide to be friendly.)Were I on that desert island…? I’d cope quite well I think. I think. :o/

  2. Rachel Fox says:

    Yes I think having sociable time and then also time when you choose to be alone (and get to really THINK) is the perfect combination. A happy life while it works out like that!x

  3. BarbaraS says:

    I like company and I like being on my own, because that’s how I work too.A happy balance, tho’ I couldn’t be on my own all the time.

  4. apprentice says:

    If it was a split I’d say 70% alone 30% with people. I get twitchy being around people for too long. I hated open plan working and hot desking is a form of torture. We’re all like that in my house, we come together to eat meals and talk, but we’re all happy being alone around the house doing our own thing. And I like walking by myself, always have, as I child I roamed miles on my own, mostly with a fishing rod and my dog. There is not enough boredom in this world, kids should have to do O level boredom like we did and then they’d appreciate solitude.

  5. Dick says:

    Go on – you’ve done the last bit. What would the eight records be?

  6. Colin Will says:

    I constantly change my mind, but at the moment this is it:William Byrd: Ave Verum CorpusMiles Davis: Freddie FreeloaderBob Dylan: Don’t think twice, it’s all rightJohn McLaughlin: Sister Andrea, from The Lost Trident SessionsBeethoven: Ninth SymphonyBritten: Sea Interlude 1 from Peter GrimesPärt: Cantus in Memoriam Benjamin BrittenJohn Coltrane: GreensleevesMaybe I’ll do a future blog with the reasons, and invite others to list theirs.

  7. Rachel Fox says:

    That’s a favourite Dylan over this way too.x

  8. Colin Will says:

    It’s either that one of Hard rain’s gonna fall – beacuse of the stunning lyrics.

  9. Sorlil says:

    I’ve only ever been on holiday by myself once and I hated not having someone else there with me to share the experience or enjoy the sights with.I get rather worn out if I don’t have a reasonable amount of time to myself, I definitely need my headspace.

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